Fr. Jay DeFolco Obituary and Funeral Mass Info.

Oct 28, 2025

Vigil:Sunday, November 2, 2025, 5 - 9pm
St. Luke Church, Shoreline
Bishop Frank Schuster to preside.
Father Tony Bawyn to preach.

Funeral Mass: Monday, November 3, 2025, 11am.
St. Luke Church, Shoreline
Bishop Eusebio Elizondo to preside.
Father Rick Spicer to preach.
Reception to follow Mass. Concelebrating Priests, please bring alb and white stole.

Committal:Monday, November 3, 2025, 2pm
Holyrood Cemetery, Shoreline Father Phil Bloom to preside.

Fr. Joseph “Jay” A. DeFolco died on October 25, 2025 at Richmond Beach Adult Family Home in Shoreline, WA., after a two and half year battle with Lymphoma.   
Born in Centralia, WA, on November 8, 1958, to his parents Joseph and Isabelle (Murphy), he was the youngest of four children (two boys and two girls). His older brother, Bob, died at the age of 19, when Fr. Jay was only five years old.  Through their Catholic faith, the family grew stronger, and Fr. Jay’s relationship with his two older sisters was cemented for life.  He loved visiting his sister Joan and brother-in-law Clarence in South Dakota and cherished his ability to crash at his sister Peg’s after his cancer treatments, or just to rest. 
In 1962, his father was tasked with working on the construction of I-5, and the family moved to Shoreline, to be closer to the section he was working on.  He went to Cromwell Park Elementary and Einstein Middle School, before attending and graduating from Shoreline High School in 1977. He could always be found riding his bicycle in his neighborhood, which included St. Luke Parish.  Through the ministry and example of long-time pastor Fr. Bill Gallagher, as well as Fr. Tom Vandenberg and Fr. Michael J. Ryan, who lived in residence, St. Luke had a strong culture of supporting vocations in the late 1960’s.  Fr. Jay was one of several St. Luke boys to enter seminary.  At the age of 12, Fr. Jay told his friend Phil Bloom (who would also go on to be a priest) that he wanted to be a priest.  His senior year at Shoreline High, he visited St. Thomas Seminary and soon after applied to be a seminarian for the Archdiocese of Seattle.  However, the seminary closed, and he was guided into the Ministerial Development Program, which was founded to assist young men and women in their discernment for service in the Church.  Fr. Jay entered the University of Washington, receiving a BA in Philosophy in 1981, before attending Catholic University in Washington DC, for Theology.  His classmates remember going to check out a book in the library for a class, and Father Jay had already checked it out, or cleaning up their dorm and packing up when finals were over only to find that Father Jay had beat them to it!  He was ordained on June 29, 1985, by Archbishop Raymond Hunthausen in St. James Cathedral.
His first assignment was as parochial vicar at St. Brendan Parish in Bothell under the mentoring of Father Pat Ritter who was pastor. Fr. Ritter wrote of Fr. Jay in his evaluation, “he is enthusiastic, fun, a good teacher, likes people, likes activity, meets challenges in a positive way, and essentially a good person.” 
In 1989 he was appointed as Parochial Vicar of All Saints Parish in Puyallup, under the guidance of Father Pat O’Neill. Parishioners enjoyed his sense of humor, quick wit, and playfulness. A few of the staff commented that he was just a “big kid.”   This young at heartedness led to his appointment in 1990, as chaplain at O’Dea High School. He enjoyed this for two school years while providing weekend help at both St. Mary Magdalen in Everett and St. Patrick in Seattle.
During these years he showed himself to be hardworking, dependable, and well organized. These traits, along with his knack for community building, led to his first appointment as Priest Administrator of St. John Vianney Kirkland in 1993, where he oversaw construction of the new church.  In 1997 he went on to take his first assignment as pastor of both Assumption and Sacred Heart in Bellingham, overseeing the renovation at Assumption.
At times, Fr. Jay was observed to take himself too seriously, sometimes even exhibiting a short temper and long windedness in preaching. To his credit he worked very hard on this feedback. He launched himself into ministries he had never done before- namely Hispanic Ministry and Prison Ministry. Learning a new language and culture, as well as encountering the Lord Jesus in the inmates made him more tolerant, and sensitive to God’s justice and mercy in this broken world.
In 2003, he was appointed pastor of St. Michael Parish in Snohomish and instructed by Archbishop Brunett to bring Holy Cross Parish in Lake Stevens, together with the mission in Granite Falls. He succeeded in doing so, and oversaw several new construction projects, including new bathrooms at St. Michael and new church in Lake Stevens (twice). He was also appointed pastor of St. Mary in Marysville and St. Anne Mission in Tulalip while continuing to be pastor in Lake Stevens. For the next 20+ years he was the chaplain for Snohomish County Jail Ministry, expanded the food bank in Snohomish, served as dean several times and the priest personnel board for two terms.
He enjoyed camping, fishing and skiing and loved taking trips with brother priests centered on these outdoor activities by day, and cards and board games by night.  He also enjoyed gardening, and reading science fiction, history and theology, and engaging in social media. He was a fixture at the Religious Education Congress in Los Angeles every year and proudly served as chaplain for several years with the Seattle Seahawks.  
Because he was process oriented and systematic, while at the same time fun-loving, people liked to work with him and for him. Several lay ecclesial ministers and deacons who currently hold significant roles in the archdiocese, credit Fr. Jay for his mentorship, belief in them, and empowerment to do more than they thought they could.
The lengths he went to galvanize others to service was never ending. He did this by walking the talk. He personally visited and related to the homebound elderly, pitched in with manual work and landscaping, and drove “the truck” full of food bank supplies. He presented a positive image of Catholicism during a time that the Church desperately needed credible witnesses, especially given the wounds of the abuse crisis in the early 2000’s.
Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let Your perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul, and all the souls of the faithful depart, rest in peace. 
Predeceased by his Parents; Jospeh and Isabelle. Sister; Joan Haider. Brother; Robert DeFolco.  Brother-in-law; Clarence Haider. Survived by his sister Margaret (Peg) Sturdevant, nieces Kelly Bauer and Lynn McEnany, seven great nieces and great nephews and one great-great niece and great-great nephew. 
 
Condolences can be sent to:
Peg Sturdevant (his sister)
2328 North 188th St.
Shoreline, WA. 98133

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